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Nov. 18th, 2007 06:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
triple_flameOk, I've hit that week three stage where I hate everything I've written and am about to give up (again). After having a number of people remind me that there are many people further behind than myself I am still realising that there are probably many more far ahead of me. About all I can say is that I'm on target, not good enough IMO given that I've had no real problems so far this year.
The main culprit in all of this? The dreaded writer's block (and yes it does exist no matter what some optimists might suggest). The story I have so far seems incredibly disjointed, partly because I've been skipping about in an attempt to avoid getting hung up on one chapter that won't flow. There is much flashbacked goodness (the book skips back in time, not the characters 'remembering' stuff) and my favourite messenger who demanded a bigger role (yes I'm looking at you Bran) has talked to me and given me many hundred words. Of course being fae most of those words don't actually tell you much about him except that he wants to take over the story (we've had this conversation more than once and it's not happening, Bri and Aislin are the main characters no matter how much temptation you put in my way). Because of the way I've written my first chapter and given teh two girls a complete memory exchange, I haven't left Bri much to get confused over in the 'real world' which cut out a lot of what I expected to come up. I've had a fair amount of young Aislin in the human world which was fun but that seems to have ground to a halt after she stormed off in a huff because one of her friends had said the wrong thing.
Deirbhile (my bard) has had a nice little flashback scene and explained why she has a limp but it feels like there should be more to it than that. She started out with the intention of being an important member of the supporting cast but has rather faded into the background. Maybe she's sulking. Bran has revealed that he was taken and controlled by a member of the Unseelie Court because he allowed his temper to get out of hand and let them get into his head. He was basically used as a killing machine by one of his greatest enemies (I blame Laurell K Hamilton and her faerie porn). Something suggests that this enemy might be Aedan since Bran does mention that he is still alive and there seems to be a definite tension between them when they meet in chapter 1 (Which I might post in a seperate entry since I don't entirely hate it). That would give me something to go back an add in.
I also need something more with Aedan and Cael since they have been remarkably quiet lately which is a good thing from the pov of my characters but a bad one for plot/wordcount purposes. Then I have the Wild Fae who are my big bads (I think!), half way through my wordcount and they haven't put in too much of an appearance yet, there have been a couple of mentions of them and a couple of vague interactions but nothing that could really constitute plot. See, this is what I find most frustrating, I know what needs to be done, I have some vague idea where things are going and by the end of a thorough edit I might have a platform to write something halfway decent but I just don't seem to be able to get there. I've switched plot focus at least three times since the first of the month and that is just adding to the disjointedness of the whole thing.
Perhaps what I need to do is sit and do some planning, thing is if I do that I start to feel like I should be typing, should be upping my wordcount and that October is for planning not November. Of course what might also help is a good hard froth session with someone who won't try and take the story over. The write in today didn't happen for me for several reasons: 1, money. 2, feeling ill. 3, the knowledge that the main person I wanted to meet up with is at least 5,000 words ahead of me (probably more by now) and defines a bad day as under 3,000 words! (you know who you are and you know I love you really). The main problem seems to be that I'm expecting too much of myself, I've checked my spreadsheet from last year and I was only on around 13,000 at this point. I'm doing a damn sight better than that now so why do I feel so bloody depressed about the whole thing?!
Oh, I do appear to have invented a new faerie/monster type. Could have sworn that I've read about them somewhere but they don't seem to exist according to any search I've tried.
From the front they appear to be attractive human figures, when seen from behind they are hollow, merely a shell of the image they present. They appear to be fully capable of movement and thought despite not having any sort of physical musculature or brain (gotta love magical creatures) and I think that they seek out people's emotions (or maybe spirits) to fill the emptiness of their form. If anyone has any idea what I'm talking about or where the idea might have come from please let me know!
Ok, enough rambling now, I really should be setting my laptop up and at least attempting a wordcount for today. I'm thinking I might need to focus on my bad guys today, it's not much of a story without them and I have rather been neglecting them. Maybe that's why I'm struggling so much.
The main culprit in all of this? The dreaded writer's block (and yes it does exist no matter what some optimists might suggest). The story I have so far seems incredibly disjointed, partly because I've been skipping about in an attempt to avoid getting hung up on one chapter that won't flow. There is much flashbacked goodness (the book skips back in time, not the characters 'remembering' stuff) and my favourite messenger who demanded a bigger role (yes I'm looking at you Bran) has talked to me and given me many hundred words. Of course being fae most of those words don't actually tell you much about him except that he wants to take over the story (we've had this conversation more than once and it's not happening, Bri and Aislin are the main characters no matter how much temptation you put in my way). Because of the way I've written my first chapter and given teh two girls a complete memory exchange, I haven't left Bri much to get confused over in the 'real world' which cut out a lot of what I expected to come up. I've had a fair amount of young Aislin in the human world which was fun but that seems to have ground to a halt after she stormed off in a huff because one of her friends had said the wrong thing.
Deirbhile (my bard) has had a nice little flashback scene and explained why she has a limp but it feels like there should be more to it than that. She started out with the intention of being an important member of the supporting cast but has rather faded into the background. Maybe she's sulking. Bran has revealed that he was taken and controlled by a member of the Unseelie Court because he allowed his temper to get out of hand and let them get into his head. He was basically used as a killing machine by one of his greatest enemies (I blame Laurell K Hamilton and her faerie porn). Something suggests that this enemy might be Aedan since Bran does mention that he is still alive and there seems to be a definite tension between them when they meet in chapter 1 (Which I might post in a seperate entry since I don't entirely hate it). That would give me something to go back an add in.
I also need something more with Aedan and Cael since they have been remarkably quiet lately which is a good thing from the pov of my characters but a bad one for plot/wordcount purposes. Then I have the Wild Fae who are my big bads (I think!), half way through my wordcount and they haven't put in too much of an appearance yet, there have been a couple of mentions of them and a couple of vague interactions but nothing that could really constitute plot. See, this is what I find most frustrating, I know what needs to be done, I have some vague idea where things are going and by the end of a thorough edit I might have a platform to write something halfway decent but I just don't seem to be able to get there. I've switched plot focus at least three times since the first of the month and that is just adding to the disjointedness of the whole thing.
Perhaps what I need to do is sit and do some planning, thing is if I do that I start to feel like I should be typing, should be upping my wordcount and that October is for planning not November. Of course what might also help is a good hard froth session with someone who won't try and take the story over. The write in today didn't happen for me for several reasons: 1, money. 2, feeling ill. 3, the knowledge that the main person I wanted to meet up with is at least 5,000 words ahead of me (probably more by now) and defines a bad day as under 3,000 words! (you know who you are and you know I love you really). The main problem seems to be that I'm expecting too much of myself, I've checked my spreadsheet from last year and I was only on around 13,000 at this point. I'm doing a damn sight better than that now so why do I feel so bloody depressed about the whole thing?!
Oh, I do appear to have invented a new faerie/monster type. Could have sworn that I've read about them somewhere but they don't seem to exist according to any search I've tried.
From the front they appear to be attractive human figures, when seen from behind they are hollow, merely a shell of the image they present. They appear to be fully capable of movement and thought despite not having any sort of physical musculature or brain (gotta love magical creatures) and I think that they seek out people's emotions (or maybe spirits) to fill the emptiness of their form. If anyone has any idea what I'm talking about or where the idea might have come from please let me know!
Ok, enough rambling now, I really should be setting my laptop up and at least attempting a wordcount for today. I'm thinking I might need to focus on my bad guys today, it's not much of a story without them and I have rather been neglecting them. Maybe that's why I'm struggling so much.
