Gender and me
Apr. 19th, 2017 11:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
triple_flameTo be honest, I think Shampoo summed me up pretty well on this score:
"I don't wanna be a boy, I wanna be a girl
I wanna do things that'll make ya hair curl
I wanna play with knives, I wanna play with guns
I wanna smash the place up just for fun!"
Even in my most stroppy childhood rants, I don't remember wanting to be a boy, just to be able to do the things that boys did. Playing at Robin Hood with the kids who lived near me and proudly coming home with a bow and arrow from my latest castle visits. Apparently that meant I couldn't be Maid Marion because she wasn't allowed to rescue herself. Not needing to be rescued was just fine by me, not being allowed to be who I wanted to be, that was a problem.
My role models were Jo March, Enid Blyton's girls, George, Daryl, Pat and Isabel. Rowanne, determined to become the first female knight, the Marion from Robin of Sherwood or from Maid Marion and her Merry Men. Nancy and the rest of the girls from Swallows and Amazons. They did not sit around waiting to be rescued, they went out, got themselves into scrapes and pulled themselves out of them just as easily - often rescuing their male counterparts along the way.
I don't remember WHEN I first started defining as a feminist but I can never remember a time when I didn't think girls could do everything boys could (usually better, I was a bit militant at that age).
Maybe that's part of the reason that what is between someone's legs doesn't interest me anywhere near as much as what is between their ears. I'm the same with the language of the scene. Dom is dom, whether that person identifies as male or female. Why does it need to be defined with extra letters when you could just get to know the person and figure out who they are? Dominus/Domina is different, that's a grammatical thing not a pseudo french addition to mark an unnecessary difference.
I am perfectly happy being female (although I could do without the physical design flaws), but my definition of female doesn't seem to match up with the generic one that society shoves down our throat. If you wear a dress and want male pronouns, awesome - I might be jealous if you have better legs than me, but that's the extent of my commentary. Girls in suits - Louise Brooks and Annie Lennox are two of my biggest celebrity crushes. Androgyny is a beautiful thing. Tell me which pronouns you prefer, prod me if I screw it up occasionally and tell me where you got those amazing boots/tights/corsets/lipsticks/cuff links from.
Just do me one favour in return? Extend the same courtesy. Don't make assumptions about me based on a bunch of self imposed labels. I still have my prettiest dresses hanging up next to my favourite tree climbing jeans (or would if I could still climb trees).
"I don't wanna be a boy, I wanna be a girl
I wanna do things that'll make ya hair curl
I wanna play with knives, I wanna play with guns
I wanna smash the place up just for fun!"
Even in my most stroppy childhood rants, I don't remember wanting to be a boy, just to be able to do the things that boys did. Playing at Robin Hood with the kids who lived near me and proudly coming home with a bow and arrow from my latest castle visits. Apparently that meant I couldn't be Maid Marion because she wasn't allowed to rescue herself. Not needing to be rescued was just fine by me, not being allowed to be who I wanted to be, that was a problem.
My role models were Jo March, Enid Blyton's girls, George, Daryl, Pat and Isabel. Rowanne, determined to become the first female knight, the Marion from Robin of Sherwood or from Maid Marion and her Merry Men. Nancy and the rest of the girls from Swallows and Amazons. They did not sit around waiting to be rescued, they went out, got themselves into scrapes and pulled themselves out of them just as easily - often rescuing their male counterparts along the way.
I don't remember WHEN I first started defining as a feminist but I can never remember a time when I didn't think girls could do everything boys could (usually better, I was a bit militant at that age).
Maybe that's part of the reason that what is between someone's legs doesn't interest me anywhere near as much as what is between their ears. I'm the same with the language of the scene. Dom is dom, whether that person identifies as male or female. Why does it need to be defined with extra letters when you could just get to know the person and figure out who they are? Dominus/Domina is different, that's a grammatical thing not a pseudo french addition to mark an unnecessary difference.
I am perfectly happy being female (although I could do without the physical design flaws), but my definition of female doesn't seem to match up with the generic one that society shoves down our throat. If you wear a dress and want male pronouns, awesome - I might be jealous if you have better legs than me, but that's the extent of my commentary. Girls in suits - Louise Brooks and Annie Lennox are two of my biggest celebrity crushes. Androgyny is a beautiful thing. Tell me which pronouns you prefer, prod me if I screw it up occasionally and tell me where you got those amazing boots/tights/corsets/lipsticks/cuff links from.
Just do me one favour in return? Extend the same courtesy. Don't make assumptions about me based on a bunch of self imposed labels. I still have my prettiest dresses hanging up next to my favourite tree climbing jeans (or would if I could still climb trees).
(no subject)
Date: 2017-04-20 12:56 pm (UTC)I have the full gender spectrum floating inside me and it varies as to which portion is most apparant at any one time. Though I don't like the term gender fluid just because my Aspergers mind sees that as changing ones gender at different times whereas I experience all beeing there at all times but one being the face shown at any given time.