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Mar. 3rd, 2005 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
triple_flameWell am feeling a little more bouncy. Was very very not happy day before yesterday, hour long post getting more ranting and depression out, felt better till I hit the update button and got told that the bloody site had gone into read only mode AGAIN! I really have to learn to copy everything I write before trying to send it.
Long story short (and this does her no justice but am still to sick to try and recapture that lost post):
Sweep, the cat who was ill, they had her put to sleep on Tuesday morning before they left. It wasn't fair to her, she'd been bleeding heavily through the night and seemed to be getting worse; on top of that it wasn't fair to the cattery owner (even though she knew the score and was willing to do what had to be done). My mum finally realised that she had been taking the coward's way out by hoping to avoid doing the deed herself and that she wanted to be there for the cat.
She was 16 so it's not like we lost a kitten but I can still remember the little scrap of tortoise shell fur that we spent hours trying to coax out of the stereo cabinet when we first got her. Mum and I had seen an advert in the local health food shop for two kittens, mother and daughter; they'd been rescued from a vet's where their former owner was having them put down because they were unwanted - how the hell can anyone do that to an animal? It's bad enough when you have to do it because they're ill but because you couldn't be bothered to get the mother spayed and you don't want them?! I just don't understand people.
Anyway, she finally talked my dad into taking us to look, we picked her up from work, "Where are the cat baskets?" Says she. "What do you want the baskets for?" Asks my dad in reply, "You're only going to look!" Of course he had the baskets in the boot and we drove home with two of the most adorable bundles of fluff you could have wished for. She's probably where ever she's gone now and driving the dog and Sooty (their other cat who died about this time the year before last) to distraction; I know I still have the scars across my knuckles from where she would wait at the top of the stairs and hunt hands.
Her mortal form is off to the crematorium, they're going to buy another fuchsia bush to put her under, it's become something of a tradition for our pets and it's always been one of my mum's favourite flowers. They don't know yet whether they'll get another cat, I think they're planning on seeing how Smudge (the mother) takes being on her own first. I know they won't have another kitten but there are plenty of rescue cats out there who would love the warm spot on the landing where the heating pipes run.
I know I haven't done her justice but the raw edge of the tears is fading now, it wasn't as if she was ever particularly find of me the last few times I came home but 16 years of my life can't be forgotten that easily and let's face it, I don't care if an animal doesn't like me, I'm soft on them!
RIP Sweep - and all of you with pets (including Cleo, she looks a little like her) give them an extra pat from me tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On to a more cheerful note. Firefly is good, being in tears of laughter at Jayne certainly made a difference to my normal tears over the last couple of weeks. I think I'm beginning to get some vague semblance of stability back again, it helped to get a phone call this morning letting me know that my parents arrived safely...Ok hearing that it's 73 degrees out there and they were sitting in the garden having morning tea made me jealous as hell but that's beside the point!
I've also gone into official Maelfroth mode, I have a pretty new coat for it so I might not freeze when I'm not in the caravan and I have a pretty purple velvet shirt which may or may not get used as costume but is pretty and purple so is good anyway. To continue the "pretty" theme I'm also promised a Tallow's rapier....Hmm, not that I appear to be able to find the right one on their sight, it's just a plain little cup hilt one and I'm fairly sure it's not the £120 that they have listed but it looks like it. Anyway Go look at pretty weapons, I may just have to haunt the market place for a few hours till I find the one I want...such a shame!
Yes there is much M obsession from me again, extolling the virtues of spending the weekend in a tent surrounded by rubber weapons to anyone who will stay still long enough, who said that RP has no benefit? It cheers me up no end! Lack of Exalted this week sucks, although hopefully it will give me a chance to get some writing done, or possibly cleaning which is actually more important IRL but far less fun and won't get me published ever...
Enough rambling, just know that I'm feeling better if not fully myself. I also have Zith back under my pillow which is a good thing but for some reason I couldn't ask for her back...I need to get my cards out and try figuring out exactly what's going on in my life. Something seems to be but I can't sense it/pin it down and the people (ok person) that might know doesn't seem to want to talk to me at the moment, I'm beginning to wonder if I've done something to offend him, he's been incredibly distant the last few times and seems as fed up being here as the usual occupant is for not. I know that the pills make it difficult but there just seems to be something more...Maybe it's just my paranoia showing.
The one thing that hasn't gone away is that I'm still missing people I really shouldn't which sucks. There are two different reasons for it but neither is particularly good/valid and I know deep down that it won't ever change anything but still...the human mind is a strange thing and emotions are even stranger.
In Gothador news we may be merging with another cult so that we can get a square, they're calling themselves Champions of the Red Branch so I have no problem joining up, is just a bit sucky that I probably won't be an owner anymore....although they do seem very reasonable so maybe we could come to an agreement...We shall see. And now I'm really going, and I'm going to remember to copy the text just in case (watch it post perfectly first time now)
*pixie dust*
Long story short (and this does her no justice but am still to sick to try and recapture that lost post):
Sweep, the cat who was ill, they had her put to sleep on Tuesday morning before they left. It wasn't fair to her, she'd been bleeding heavily through the night and seemed to be getting worse; on top of that it wasn't fair to the cattery owner (even though she knew the score and was willing to do what had to be done). My mum finally realised that she had been taking the coward's way out by hoping to avoid doing the deed herself and that she wanted to be there for the cat.
She was 16 so it's not like we lost a kitten but I can still remember the little scrap of tortoise shell fur that we spent hours trying to coax out of the stereo cabinet when we first got her. Mum and I had seen an advert in the local health food shop for two kittens, mother and daughter; they'd been rescued from a vet's where their former owner was having them put down because they were unwanted - how the hell can anyone do that to an animal? It's bad enough when you have to do it because they're ill but because you couldn't be bothered to get the mother spayed and you don't want them?! I just don't understand people.
Anyway, she finally talked my dad into taking us to look, we picked her up from work, "Where are the cat baskets?" Says she. "What do you want the baskets for?" Asks my dad in reply, "You're only going to look!" Of course he had the baskets in the boot and we drove home with two of the most adorable bundles of fluff you could have wished for. She's probably where ever she's gone now and driving the dog and Sooty (their other cat who died about this time the year before last) to distraction; I know I still have the scars across my knuckles from where she would wait at the top of the stairs and hunt hands.
Her mortal form is off to the crematorium, they're going to buy another fuchsia bush to put her under, it's become something of a tradition for our pets and it's always been one of my mum's favourite flowers. They don't know yet whether they'll get another cat, I think they're planning on seeing how Smudge (the mother) takes being on her own first. I know they won't have another kitten but there are plenty of rescue cats out there who would love the warm spot on the landing where the heating pipes run.
I know I haven't done her justice but the raw edge of the tears is fading now, it wasn't as if she was ever particularly find of me the last few times I came home but 16 years of my life can't be forgotten that easily and let's face it, I don't care if an animal doesn't like me, I'm soft on them!
RIP Sweep - and all of you with pets (including Cleo, she looks a little like her) give them an extra pat from me tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On to a more cheerful note. Firefly is good, being in tears of laughter at Jayne certainly made a difference to my normal tears over the last couple of weeks. I think I'm beginning to get some vague semblance of stability back again, it helped to get a phone call this morning letting me know that my parents arrived safely...Ok hearing that it's 73 degrees out there and they were sitting in the garden having morning tea made me jealous as hell but that's beside the point!
I've also gone into official Maelfroth mode, I have a pretty new coat for it so I might not freeze when I'm not in the caravan and I have a pretty purple velvet shirt which may or may not get used as costume but is pretty and purple so is good anyway. To continue the "pretty" theme I'm also promised a Tallow's rapier....Hmm, not that I appear to be able to find the right one on their sight, it's just a plain little cup hilt one and I'm fairly sure it's not the £120 that they have listed but it looks like it. Anyway Go look at pretty weapons, I may just have to haunt the market place for a few hours till I find the one I want...such a shame!
Yes there is much M obsession from me again, extolling the virtues of spending the weekend in a tent surrounded by rubber weapons to anyone who will stay still long enough, who said that RP has no benefit? It cheers me up no end! Lack of Exalted this week sucks, although hopefully it will give me a chance to get some writing done, or possibly cleaning which is actually more important IRL but far less fun and won't get me published ever...
Enough rambling, just know that I'm feeling better if not fully myself. I also have Zith back under my pillow which is a good thing but for some reason I couldn't ask for her back...I need to get my cards out and try figuring out exactly what's going on in my life. Something seems to be but I can't sense it/pin it down and the people (ok person) that might know doesn't seem to want to talk to me at the moment, I'm beginning to wonder if I've done something to offend him, he's been incredibly distant the last few times and seems as fed up being here as the usual occupant is for not. I know that the pills make it difficult but there just seems to be something more...Maybe it's just my paranoia showing.
The one thing that hasn't gone away is that I'm still missing people I really shouldn't which sucks. There are two different reasons for it but neither is particularly good/valid and I know deep down that it won't ever change anything but still...the human mind is a strange thing and emotions are even stranger.
In Gothador news we may be merging with another cult so that we can get a square, they're calling themselves Champions of the Red Branch so I have no problem joining up, is just a bit sucky that I probably won't be an owner anymore....although they do seem very reasonable so maybe we could come to an agreement...We shall see. And now I'm really going, and I'm going to remember to copy the text just in case (watch it post perfectly first time now)
*pixie dust*
