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[triple_flame]

Empathy, empathy is good right, it means I don't have to get all freaked out about losing touch with my energy/power/whatever? *prays she's not going to come off sounding like Phoebe from Charmed in this post*  Well usually it would be but for some reason I seem to have absolutely no control over it right now. Shields, shields would be good, I did think that I had them, I haven't done anything/felt anything that should mean that I don't so where on earth have they gone?  Of course there's always the thought that they haven't gone and stuff is just going through them but I'm not quite sure which is more scary...

There is a little voice sat in the back of my mind saying that I should get my cards out and see what they have to say on the matter, or possibly even kick a Muppett into doing a reading for me.  I think part of me is a little scared, it's been a while since I've felt like this, although it is better than the alternative.  I want to know what has caused it more than anything else, it's bad enough that my own emotions have been somewhat unbalanced of late but when I realise that it's as much everyone else's as my own, that's a bit of a head fuck...I'm rambling again aren't I?

Maybe empathy isn't quite the right word for all of it but when you have two choices of packs and you know which the best choice is both times and then your psychic-as-a-brick fiance hears you thinking at him from across the other side of a shop (Ok we used to have that a lot but not recently).  Hmph, not that he seems overly enthusiastic about this idea; I don't know what's wrong lately, there was a time where he was as happy to accept less than normal explanations for things as me, or at least didn't make me feel like an over enthusuastic teeny-goth-wiccan the moment the subject came up.  Then again that seems to be a general thing at the moment, I'm just getting more and more uncomfortable discussing the subject with anyone.  Have you ever tried to bring up a conversation about something from childhood that everyone else dismissed as too childish years ago?  That's kind of how it's starting to feel, perhaps I'm just being too oversensitive, or perhaps it's something to do with not having a job and a solid connection to the "real world".

In other general stuff, I have tonsilitis again which sucks and hurts lots but hopefully should be gone by Maelstrom.  I suppose I should just be thankful that I've got through two whole months of the new year without it.  I've been sorting through all my fics and fanfics and things and never quite realised how much I've actually done!  It's made me feel a little better about myself and my prospects for Goddess at least.  I'm very obsessed by new piraty card gamey thing, possibly mainly 'cos it's pirates and you get to build tiny ships and manouever them and stuff.

Now I should stop rambling, since I forgot about this entry for an hour doing other stuff I'm thinking it's all getting out of hand.  I need to go gen up a random mortal thaumaturge for Stolen Shards anyway, I've been putting it off and putting it off and she's needed now or more accurately her abilities are, so I should probably go work out what they are, or at least attempt to...Must also get some writing done this week. Ooooh, and found something that could come in really useful in Bodycare in town...they make herbal period pain relief tablets, valerian and stuff in them. They have to be worth trying, cheaper adn probably better for you in the long run than Feminax and the like.

Exalted this week, missed it last week, seemed really strange without much roleplayness over the weekend.  Should be a good session though, hopefully Lara, sorry, Lauren should come into her own with all the tomb raidery stuff, is about time after last session!

*pixie dust*